It feels like a hole pulling you in like a vortex, but it's in the middle of your stomach. No body can understand your state of mind. Nothing makes sense except that whatever you do, whatever you touch, will eventually amount to shit. Any one who talks to you, is full of pity, and quiet contempt. Everyone else justifies their end by not talking to you, or accepting your 'condition' through silence. One minute your angry at anything in your life, the next, your impotent; vulnerable to everything the cruel world offers. Your weighted down with emotion, and exhausted by carrying it even for a short time, and covering it up to make everyone around you feel like everything is normal. It's cellophane membrane keeps you separate at all times from anything normal. You look in the mirror, you see weakness, incompetency.
Every breathe turns into a verification of waste. You don't want to move, you just want to disappear and end up somewhere completely different, with a completely different life. All the mistakes you've made throughout your life are now recent, and every bad or stupid thing you have ever done is now for the public to gawk at and scowl about with or without you there. You believe you have strength, but it's drained by the idea that your strength simply doesn't matter.
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