CAN WORK WITH FOOD

It has been awhile for me since I've worked. It is so nerve racking and mind manipulating that I can barely keep my head up! I know I am qualified for the positions I am applying for. Sometimes I get an interview, and It is with someone so strange or unrealistic, I can not, in a sane frame of mind, take the job. Now being who I am, I have pissed away the big money I was given as a young adult, because I thought partying would solve everything. It does, until you stop partying.

Now I am older, and am disappointed in some of those early decisions, wishing I could take back some choices I made. I think about all of this as I wait for a call asking for an interview. I wonder sometimes if some of my professional contacts have turned their backs or if the wrong person picked up the phone when someone has called for a reference. In my field it happens all the time.I am also paranoid, so when things go bad, I blame whatever I can think of.

What the hell is going on here?!?

I am good at my job. I manage well and cook better. I know in New York the competition is ridiculous. I think I am a competitor. I know my way around a whisk. When I am inspired, I am innovative, whimsical, and impressive. I can't even get in the door most of the time and express my passion for what I do. It can't be all me. What am I supposed to be doing? LET ME COOK!!!