A LESSON I WISH LEARNED

Its been a long time yet again my friends. That is because I have been so busy fucking my own life up, I haven't had time to write any rants. Well this time I have a rant indeed... Against me... It begins like this. I have a problem with dealing with people who don't know enough and act like they do. They snapshot everything and cast judgement on those snapshots. The problem is just that. It is only a snapshot. The other thing which makes all of this my fault in the end s my temper.I don't deal with bullshit well, and I explode after I feel I have had too much. It often feels like over the last decade or so, the b.s. has increased, along with myopia and finger pointing. Nobody, it seems is ever at fault. I am told, rather was told by a scumbag that used to be in my life that I was in my own way. For the longest time I had no idea what he meant. Now it seems like the answer is that I chose not to take my own risks, but risks others told me to take, and when it failed, I had only myself. My advisers had left, disappeared. They would only show to give advice, not to guide. I was a sucker every time. Gullible. Now the time has come for me to choose and fail on my own. The problem s that I am no longer alone to fail at will. I have lives I am responsible for. have let them down by not adjusting my sights and still doing the same shit. I have no one to turn to, because my faith and trust is gone. have been reckless, and thoughtless this last time, because I let others put weight on me, to help with their burden, and in the end, have only hurt them. There is no place to turn, I have failed this time, and involved more than myself. I really don't know how this will turn out. It does not look good. I have lost my way, lost myself by not learning how to deal with bad people with influence. I am trying some new career moves to be independent, but I don't know if it will work, and even if it does, will it work in time?